999
In one smooth motion he pulled the blade across. His hand was no longer shaking as it had been, but the small beads of sweat remained on his forehead. Typically it helped if he vomited before he began, and tonight was no exception.
It helped too, if had had a few drinks. Strengthened his hand, he often thought. Made it steadier. And that was how he found them. At Bars. Waiting, waiting for men with fat wallets. But he was waiting too, and his waiting was a lot more pleasurable. Now that the deed was done, he felt a stirring, a sense of elation, not unlike the feeling of an athlete at the end of a winning race. He wiped the perspiration from his forehead. Wiped the blade of the long scimitar-like knife on the grass and proceeded to cover the body with rocks.
He set the last one in place, then surveyed the scene. A job well done flooded him with satisfaction. He didn't have long to enjoy the feeling. Fingers clamped his ankle in a grip as unforgiving as a pit bull's jaws. He stared, uncomprehending, at the hand jutting from a gap in the rocks. The fingers increased their pressure until he heard himself whimpering. The knife glittered, just beyond his reach. Her voice was cold and dark as wrought iron, nothing like the breathy warble she'd used earlier. "Dolt! My kind is not so easily killed. Remove these stones ere I grow truly angry."
For a moment he thought he was hallucinating: this wasn't possible. The cut he'd made into the carotid artery was always fast, always fatal. He made to move away, but found he was pinned to the spot, like a butterfly stuck to a board. The grip on his ankle increased, threatening to break it. Then, a hideous scraping noise at the rocks as filthy fingernails clawed their way to the surface. He looked down and saw rock after rock being dislodged. A second, almost feral hand emerged from within, dismantling the carefully arranged mound. He pulled away even harder, but the grip never faltered. At the back of his mind he could hear alarms wailing, growing closer, more insistent.
He awoke with a start, his alarm clock wailing its plaintiff cry of morning. Sweat clung to his body like shrink-wrap on a piece of meat. A nightmare. He'd had a nightmare.
He went into the bathroom and splashed his face with cold water. The night terrors he'd been having lately had never been as vivid as this one. This was a whole new level of nightmare.
Could he manage work? He’d have to. They’d noticed a fair bit at the office. Nervous stammers, glazed looks and the odd clammy palm. It was only a matter of time.
He thought of her now in the fading darkness. The bed felt cold and silent. She and the baby. They had been so happy together. Why didn’t she tell him? Why did she keep her secret? Of course, he would have understood. Of course, he wouldn’t have stopped her.
That’s what he'd told her softly in those frozen final minutes.
He remembered her startled __expression when she saw him. Making his way to her in the crowded bar. They were playing La Bamba. She looked like she was waiting for someone he didn’t know. Waiting, sipping a cocktail and swinging her legs. “Darling, what on earth?” She appeared shocked but had smiled quickly. She had tried to fix her lipstick, adjust her skirt. Her hair looked straggly and grey. Once she had been a stunning blonde. Once she had promised only him, her kisses in the moonlight. He had been adamant. Perhaps if the baby hadn’t come…Perhaps.
But no matter how she had changed, no matter her dark secrets, everyday he saw her smile on other women's faces, saw the light of her eyes in theirs. She haunted him. Tormenting him from her grave. All he wanted now was to be left in peace. To move on with his life. To create some sort of new beginning for himself. But it was as though she was holding him back – a hand from a grave.
"Damn you," he muttered, trying to push her insistent memory away.
He gazed at his reflection in the mirror. A haggard face stared back at him. Eyes bloodshot and ringed with grey. He splashed more water on his face and watched as it trickled through his stubble.
He shook his head. "Get a grip," he told himself.
He turned away from the mirror and stopped. He stared at the knife lying in the bath. How had that got there he wondered, bending down to pick it up.
The rock smashed down hard on the back of his clammy head, and he fell dazed and disorientated into the tub. Momentarily he thought it was filling with warm water but quickly realised it was blood oozing from his damaged skull.
He laughed. So this was how it felt. This is how it felt to be killed. He’d watched so many die close up.
As his eyes cleared he saw her face. She was blonde again. Young and pretty like she used to be. But it couldn’t be. She was dead. He'd made sure of that all those years ago when he buried her beneath the garden rockery. An angry, drink-fuelled rage when she told him the child wasn’t his.
She leant forward and picked the blade up from the bath. She smiled at him like she used to. Long before the child had changed everything.
He felt the blade cut slowly across his throat.
She pressed her face up close and sniffed his fear. He could smell the cigarettes and vodka on her warm breath. There were tears in her blue eyes.
Blue eyes? Hers had been grey, like her name, Sky. And then he realised. Finally, dying, he realised his mistake after all these years. The child should have died too.
Blog Owner's Note: This is the final product of the collaboration between the seven authors in the order listed in the previous post. I'm very pleased with how well it turned out. Thank you very much for contributing! I really enjoyed reading the additions as they came back, which happened well in advance of the Monday deadline I so arbitrarily set. It came in at 999 words, and I only tried to correct any paragraph breaks that looked as though they were corrupted in transition. Wonderfully done everyone.
17 Comments:
I just read it all the way through for the firs time and it is far better than I even thought that it would be. Not to say that I didn't think it would be good, but this turned out great! I truly appreciate the effort and time you all put into this!
That was fun, and it is interesting to see how it all turned out. I think even if you hadn't published the order I'd have known who wrapped it all up - the trademark surprise ending gave it away.
It was great. Well done everyone (pat on the back here). And yes, it was fun. We should get together more often and do this. Writing one paragraph is quick, so the story gets written pretty fast. And Lehane's twist in the tale, ah, what can I say? HE's a master at it
I must confess that was one of the scariest things I've had to do! Reading all the great contributions written before me really heaped the pressure on trying to wrap it up in a way that was up to what had gone before! But Brandon is right...it's a great read! And it was highly enjoyable to do despite the pressure! What a great idea Brandon!
Quite ironic how it came in at 999 words. After all, 999 is the telephone number for the emergency services here in the UK. Maybe 999 should be an alternate title?! :)
As a collaborative effort from a bunch of people who don't know each other from a bar of soap, I thought this worked incredibly well. What I also thought was great, was each writer honoured both the story and where the other had taken it. It takes a huge amount of both self-discipline and respect to achieve that.
I have to say, I'm pretty impressed with all of us. The chicken would be proud :-)
And so glad Lehane could wrap up the story as he did :-)
And yes, I'm with Saaleha, I'd be happy to try something like this again. The whole short story genre is totally new to me - I never thought I could do it, so it's been a fun challenge.
I think 999 makes an excellent and mutlifaceted title.
It was very nice of you to do this for us all, Brandon. It came about suddenly and that spontaneity was what made your idea an innovative & creative one.
That was aweswome - to do and to read. And that ending was just a pure pearl. Did not see that coming at all. Very classy ending.
Is it me, or did the whole thing read pretty seamlessly. I couldn't really tell where the joins were.
999 is a great alternate title and how wonderfully appropriate.
We really ought to do this again soon.
Well done everybody -it is a terrific read as well as being an exciting idea.
Addy
What a cool idea to all write a short tale together. Great job!
Thanks everyone for commenting! I agree that the title "999" is much more fitting, so I changed it. To hell with making it an alternative. The idea, I must admit was not my own. A friend in Texas told me that she and her life-long friends wrote poem together this way once, so I took her experience and applied it here. So, when should we do it again?
whenever you're ready with an open
-ended prompt that will get us all thinking. Or another of the seven could have a turn to come up with one and host it on their blog?
Brandon, let's do this again pretty soon.
I'd favour upping the word limit a touch, say 1,500 words.
I'm ready to go as soon as anyone else is. In fact, I'll post a challenge on my blog later this afternoon and we'll see if anyone wants to join in.
Brandon, I had seen your call for authors before, but it didn't come to mind when I started reading this - it read like only one person wrote it.
Well done to everyone invovled, it's an excellent story.
Ready and raring to go, Brandon :-) This short story and collaborative stuff is pretty addictive - I might even have to start a second blog!
Hi Brandon,
I miss your short stories and can't wait to read the next one.
Wow! I just read the "999" tale, going back to see that it was a colloborative effort. It's amazingly well done! The voice is written as one, and the transition flows quite seamlessly. Congrats to all the authors who put this together.
I'm visiting from Susan Abraham's blog. She sent me your way, and I'm thrilled to have found this story. It's a gem!
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