Tales of the Bearded Toad

Short stories and the occasional true tidbit devised in the life and times of the Bearded Toad

Friday, August 18, 2006

Sheer

It didn’t make the same sound. Usually it rang with the same resonance every time, a nice ting that reverberated in his ears. He would position the stock for the next piece; the sheer would move downward with its hydraulic hum, slicing off the end with a seemingly effortless motion; and then, ting. Repetitively he slid the cool metal bar into position for the next cut and awaited the reassuring sound. This time though, it was a thud, a dead knock with none of the metallic quality he was used to hearing. Whatever this was, it absorbed the impact.

He leaned over to see what had caused the abnormality. At first he couldn’t tell, but there was a red streak on one of the pieces, that much was certain. Bending down he moved the pile with his left hand. There it was. A finger lay there amongst the steel as though it belonged; it was even the right length. The small puddle of blood beside it was a different story. The bright red contrasted harshly with the grayish blue of the pieces. He looked back on top of the platform to see another, larger pool. The skin of his face beaded with sweat, and his mouth began to water. Raising his digit-deficient right hand in front of his face, the smell of iron rushed into his nostrils with a vengeance. That’s funny; I never noticed that smell before, he thought as his nerves went back to work sending their electric pulses to his brain.

8 Comments:

Blogger Suzan Abrams, email: suzanabrams@live.co.uk said...

Hi Brandon,
I once read of an established literary agent in Germany (can't remember the name) who wanted stories that contained no sentiment and very little emotion if any. In other words, no movement through emotion...just narration and also drama without the sensationalism.
I thought that was a tall order.
Today, on reading this piece, I thought of how much he may have liked this tale. It met all of those challenging requirements.
A chilling mood but extremely effective.

8:10 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Wow, Brandon, a remarkable piece. As Susan says, pure emotionless narration creating a chilling and vivid tale.

2:14 AM  
Blogger Saaleha said...

I can't add to what the other critiquers have said, except to say that that was some chillin' stuff.

5:01 AM  
Blogger The Wandering Author said...

You really captured the detached mood of someone working a boring, repetitive job. I know it's true that often someone in that situation will injure themselves and not even know it right away. But you described the process perfectly.

11:09 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A perfect short short. Economical, engaging and excellent!

2:31 AM  
Blogger Jude said...

An effective piece, Brandon.

6:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ouch!

For a piece so short that was truly excellent.

5:02 AM  
Blogger oregonman said...

as a former meat-cutter, it's a line one does not cross, being a chatty guy, it's silence and focus in this work, there is the zen of the blade, I have only touched the side of it, once heard of a cutter working alone, late at night that somehow was pulled into the blade, only to be found the next morning, dead.

12:14 PM  

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