Tales of the Bearded Toad

Short stories and the occasional true tidbit devised in the life and times of the Bearded Toad

Monday, October 16, 2006

To Let Life Happen: Non-Fiction

Recently I’ve had a couple of friends who have struggled with where life is taking them. They see themselves on a path that is either not what they envisioned, or at the very least, not what they enjoy. I see in all forms of media stories of those who had goals set out and plans for their lives, and they’ve followed those plans to accomplish their goals. I think that for the mainstream view of success, this is at least a part of it. But how do you measure success if your only real goal is to enjoy life as it happens? The philosophy here is that life is not about the pursuit of ends, but rather it is a singly ended string of experiences. It’s not about accomplishing tasks, or getting to a certain position, or having so many things. It’s about enjoying the moments that life gives. But what I’ve seen happen to these two, is life pushes them into a rhythm of income and consumption that lulls them into a situation that makes them unhappy. For both, something has happened that caused them to realize abruptly that the life that is happening to them is causing unhappiness, and now they feel stuck in it. Largely, that’s because of money.

I asked the question above, “How do you measure success…”. The answer, I think, is that you don’t. If you truly just want to enjoy life, that mindset is a success. However, because these people find themselves in the situation described, some action must be taken on their part. Right? Do they now have to be decisive?

Even if someone has the philosophy of passive participation, it is still necessary to decide how to exist. Will it be an existence of increasing consumption fed by an occupation that oppressive? Will it be modest in material fed by an occupation that the participant enjoys? This is the conundrum in which these two find themselves.

We all have to decide, whether overtly or not, what makes us happy, and then we have to decide whether we experience it or not.
I’m curious to see what philosophies of life and money that others maintain. At least one of these friends is a regular reader, although not a commenter (neither is me). If you would like to share yours, or even some advice, please post a comment. Or, if it is longer, send it to me at bhorne2x at yahoo, and I’ll post it. Thanks for reading.

3 Comments:

Blogger The Wandering Author said...

Personally, I have never understood the mindset that income must be maintained at all costs. If you are unhappy, what is that money able to purchase you? Nothing you can use, that's plain. Find a path that makes you happy, and in time you may also find a way to make a good income at it. Pursue income even when it makes you unhappy, and you will never find happiness.

While I think there is something to be said for enjoying life as it comes, if you need certain elements in your life for happiness, pursue them. If certain things make you unhappy, avoid them.

As for how I'd measure success; it is nearly impossible to do this, but the clearest measure I have found it your happiness. That serves as a kind of "success meter", and if you are happy, you are likely to make a success of whatever you are doing.

This isn't worded very well; it's late and I have a nasty headache. But I hope I got my point across. Money is meaningless without happiness; happiness always has value, no matter how little you have.

10:08 PM  
Blogger Suzan Abrams, email: suzanabrams@live.co.uk said...

Brandon,

What an extraordinary, thoughtful post.

For me, I have as The Wandering Author rightly put it, already found my path.

And I am actually engaging on that path right now in my life. It's like I know where I am and where I want to go & that to me is part of a success story won.

My path encompasses a clutter of past experiences, my travels, loves, friendships, writing, reading, the Arts and all else. It's like I subconsciously know I'm on my way to good things. The only thing that would spoil this peace is my impatience.

I am also pretty much happy when I'm writing...but I have ruthless writing ambitions and I don't think I would feel successful until I fulfilled a couple of them. Also, when I engage in the arts, like listening to the opera or music compositions or watching a play, I do feel I'm on a journey to a self-made success but it's too abstract & I can't explain it.

11:53 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Brandon, what a great, thoughtful and insightful post.
I think that answers lie between the philosophies you pose - one can just be - with the mindset to be happy (and yes, that is success in itself) but one must also take certain actions and make certain choices to direct one's life. I think the reality is that many do not really know what it is they want. They grasp after the material because it is familiar and what society seems to support. Yet, as Aunt Aggie would tell you, the true answers all lie within and it is in the simplicity of being and living one's life aligned with some greater "cosmic" flow that I think true happiness may be found - accepting of course that happiness is a state of mind and a choice in itself.
For my part, I tend to take the Taoist view of wu-wei - do nothing doing / action inaction.

2:08 AM  

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